My Spouse Says I Overreact to Everything
My Spouse Says I Overreact to Everything - How Do I Deal with Emotional Invalidation in Marriage?
Published: October 27, 2025
The Email
I am a 34-year-old woman married for five years. Whenever I express my feelings – whether I am hurt, upset, sad, or stressed – my husband dismisses me by saying I am overreacting or being dramatic. If I cry, he says I am “too emotional.” If I try to explain why something hurt me, he says I am “making a big issue out of nothing.” I feel like I am not allowed to have emotions in my own marriage.
Over time, this has made me question myself. I have started suppressing my feelings because I am afraid of being judged or mocked. I feel emotionally invalidated and alone. I do not want to be seen as an emotional burden – I just want to be heard and understood. How do I handle this constant dismissal of my feelings without falling into emotional depression?
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Silenced and Misunderstood
Understanding Emotional Invalidation
Emotional invalidation happens when your feelings are dismissed, minimized, or mocked instead of being acknowledged. It is one of the most painful forms of emotional neglect because it attacks the core of your emotional existence.
Why Emotional Invalidation Is Harmful
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It makes you feel your emotions are wrong
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It creates self-doubt and confusion
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It destroys emotional safety in marriage
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It prevents genuine connection and trust
You are not overreacting – you are reacting to being unheard.
Why Spouses Invalidate
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They are uncomfortable with emotions
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They lack empathy or emotional intelligence
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They think suppressing emotions is a sign of strength
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They use invalidation to avoid taking responsibility
How to Respond to Emotional Invalidation Effectively
Step 1 - Own Your Emotion Without Shame
Say to yourself:
“My feelings are not wrong. My experience is real. My emotions deserve acknowledgment.”
Step 2 - Express Clearly Without Accusation
Use “I” statements:
“When my feelings are dismissed, I feel lonely and disconnected. I need to be heard, not judged.”
Step 3 - Educate Gently
Many people do not realize that invalidation is emotional harm. You can say:
“I am not asking you to agree with my feelings – I am asking you to respect them.”
Step 4 - Set Emotional Boundaries
If your spouse reacts dismissively, respond calmly:
“I will continue this conversation when we are both ready to speak respectfully.”
This stops emotional damage.
Step 5 - Seek Professional Support if Invalidation Continues
Emotional invalidation is a serious issue. Couples counselling can create awareness and teach emotional communication skills.
Final Thought
A strong marriage is not built by suppressing emotions, but by understanding them. To be emotionally healthy, both partners must feel safe to express their hearts.
You have the right to feel, to speak, and to be heard with respect.
Tags: Help for Heart, Emotional Invalidation, Marriage Communication, Mental Health in Relationships, Self-Worth in Marriage
If You Feel Constantly Dismissed
If emotional invalidation is affecting your wellbeing, you may write confidentially to kovaiyellowpages@gmail.com for support.
Disclaimer
The content in this article is intended solely for emotional awareness, self-reflection, and general guidance. It should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health, medical, legal, or financial advice. Every individual’s situation is unique, and decisions should be made with the help of qualified professionals. The stories or letters published may be adapted or anonymized for privacy and educational purposes. If you are experiencing severe emotional distress, thoughts of self-harm, or crisis, please seek immediate help from a licensed professional or contact emergency services.
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